Money Personality Quiz

Which Phrase Do You Relate To More?

  1. I think more about the money I have now, it’s not real until it’s in my hands.

  2. I’m usually spending money in my head before I even get it.

Which Phrase Do You Relate To More?

  1. I tend to plan ahead.

  2. I tend to deal with things as they come.

What if…?

We often look at our money personalities (and many other parts of our personalities) as wrong, disordered, or not good enough. When we feel like that, we tend to lose control. Advertisements become commandments instead of suggestions. Predatory media and companies benefit from our confusion while our savings accounts dry up. 

What if… instead of something being wrong with you, what if you are actually are smart, capable, and resilient? What if, instead of being disordered, you’ve been adapting to a system that is constantly trying to separate you from your coins? What if you aren’t wrong, or foolish, or alone?

Disorder or Adaptation?

In other words, your body is smart as hell at doing everything it can to protect you from systemic oppression

💕 HUGE acknowledgement to our interpersonal neurobiology teachers, who have asked to remain anonymous, for this transformative information. Anything in italics is a direct quote from them 

Disorder is: 

something is wrong with me that needs to be fixed. Inherently splitting and hierarchical, even for our internal system 

These may be some things you’ve said to yourself, because you and/or people around you have treated your money habits like a disorder:

❌ “I’ve made so many financial mistakes” 

❌ “I’m so bad with money” 

❌ “Why can’t I just get my money together?” 

❌ “I should have known better

Adaptation is: 

I have a wise system at every level that is always doing the best it can to help me survive and thrive, given my neurobiological pattern/constraints and level of interpersonal support 

The protections I developed make sense in terms of what was needed at the time they developed and continue to make sense in terms of needing to guard whatever is unhealed, and intolerable, within

Adaptations around money can look like: 

✅ Dealing with money makes me anxious so my system shuts down to protect me when I have to think about it

✅ I’ve had a number of bad financial experiences and have a hard time imagining what a good financial experience could feel like 

✅ I have more than my parents ever had so I want to be grateful for whatever I get

The good news is, adaptations can evolve: As these implicit pains and fears resolve, the protections will naturally find present-oriented ways to express as well

As your body begins to feel more safe around money and you have attuned relationships that reflect and affirm your money tendencies, you may start to see new, thriving money narratives emerge: 

☀️ “I feel seen and heard, so now I can go back and face ____ (that banker, that institution, my mom)” 

☀️ “My net worth does not equal my self worth” 

☀️ “I give myself permission to not be perfect in my financial life”

Money Personalities and Advocacy

Complicator (aa) - Complicators are literal organizers. Count on them to count heads, make spreadsheets, and maintain the schedule. Their power is consistency.

Contemplator (ab) - Contemplators thrive in chaos, and are best suited in public speeches, debates, and are the one to go to when things go the wrong way.

Paper Chaser (ba) - Paper Chasers help with both boycotts and combating monopolies by making alternatives to buying from big retailers that may not match your morals.

Money Monk (bb) - Money Monks were born for this. They probably already have a story ready to share, and are inspired to do the research to make sure the message is clear, and free of malice.

For more: https://www.getshameless.com/workbooks

Money Buddy Activity:  Financial advocate

Money buddies are helpful for filling out paperwork, calling customer service, disputing charges, venting frustrations, and celebrating wins. They’re all easier when we do it together. Even if you have trouble filling out a form for yourself, you’d be amazed at how much easier it is to help someone else fill out that same form. We can even be advocates when disputing charges on phones and utilities. 

Note: this tip is for students 18 years and older- When you’re on the phone with customer service, you can bring a friend on as your “Financial Advocate” (we made it up) to help ask questions and get what you need. The rep will ask “do you consent to this person being on the call?” Tell them yes and you’re done! You can do this with chat customer service too, but you don’t have to tell those bots anything about your advocate.

Reflections, questions, & writing suggestions

  • Write about a time your money personality superhero-ed your way out of a tough financial situation.

  • Write about a time you felt at your worst and how did that show up in your money personality? Where do you feel this memory in your body? How did you come back from that place?

  • How have you adapted to hard times in order to be happier and more successful?

  • Write about a time you failed at something (anything) and what you learned from it.

  • Who, or what can you be a financial advocate for?